Are You Blind of What?

	You look the way I feel about your outfit
	I’m glad you wore a tie to your “I’m a Total Jackass” Party. Your pants give you the worst proportions ever. And we can see your balls. I think even you know that the red eye makeup is a complete douche move.
	This is why hipsters don’t get invited to prom in high school. They will just fruit it up.
	oh dear. Dressing like a child doesn’t make molesting them any easier.
	OMG! Samantha Jones from Sex & The City! Except that show ended five billion years ago, and you ended up dressing waaay too young. I don’t show up to your office parties in calf-length support hose and Talbots suits.
	I think I made a quilt just like that in Girl Scouts when I was seven. And then my dad hung on to it for like ten minutes before throwing it out when I wasn’t looking. That is how I feel about you: I want to throw you in the trash.
	You live in new york, not Hoe-down city. I can tell that you are drinking so that you will pass out and forget your clothes And Sweet Jesus, what is up with that crazyface chair behind you?
	I bet that you kind of still believe in unicorns and the easter bunny. And your friend there is kind of a dick.
	Dude, you are NOT a model. Just kind of a tool-looking jerk. Stop posing! We know you copied that stance from Jessica Simpson as seen in the current issue of US Weekly.
	For a cute girl, you make my eyes hurt. That many stripes just turns your body into a lump on which the eye can never focus. And your shoes are way too young for you.
	Oh my lord, did somebody stretch your body? And then dip you in fugly paint?